Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
