shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize