i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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