Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
