I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
