Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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