Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
