he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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