I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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