the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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