You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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