How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
