I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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