Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
is wine microwaveable?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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