Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
