dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
