She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Come on in and take your pants off
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