Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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