yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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