smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
