My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
