apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
