I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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