You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
