Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
