Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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