it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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