i just had sex bonerless
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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