I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
