let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize