I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize