The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Houston, we have a blender
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I need moral support for this bender
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
