did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
