I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I CAN MOONWALK!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He passed out mid-signature
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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