He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
