I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
