if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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