Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
