just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
