he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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