Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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