I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
