your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
