Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
