I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
