all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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