I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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