In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
They took my balls.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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