somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
