Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
