Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
