Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize