I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
