But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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