thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
