Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
