i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize