I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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