He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
